Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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