Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
