I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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