Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
