Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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