You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
