I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Jerry, you need to find god
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
