oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
