CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
