Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
