It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
