Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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