It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
