I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
