She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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