Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
