problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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