im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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