Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
