wat bout pragnant strippers??
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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