She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
