thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
