She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How does it feel to date your dad?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
