Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
