i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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