All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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