Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize