dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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