It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
