summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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