you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
