I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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