his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dick very happy bro
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
