Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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