i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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