break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
