Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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