he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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