Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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