Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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