I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
