she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
