i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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