We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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