I bet he comes in French.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
