god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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