we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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