I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
my vag is so smooth its legendary
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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