Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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