I don't think brook has ever known best
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
