I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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