remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
